


Holding On and Letting Go

by bilgegungoren00



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 14:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7272280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bilgegungoren00/pseuds/bilgegungoren00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Darkh released all the nuclear weapons around the world, Oliver and his team has one chance to stop them: Felicity needs to access Darkh's computer and stop the Rubicon from there to save the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding On and Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first Olicity fanfiction that I actually wrote before the season 4 finale. It may contain spoilers up to Arrow 4x22. I'm actually glad things didn't turn out this way, but I've been kind of in a bad place, so when this came to my mind I wrote it out. I hope you like it!

“No. No, no, no, no, no!” Felicity muttered under her breath as her fingers stilled on the keyboard. The program was shut down, computer giving errors all over the place, and soon those errors would shut down not only the computer, but probably the whole electricity in the lair. She didn’t expect this. She didn’t expect this _at all_. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Felicity?” Oliver said with a tight voice as he walked up to her in his Arrow suit. Felicity’s eyes were shut as she gripped the side of the table, mumbling a string of curses to herself, to the computer, but mostly to Darkh himself. “What’s going on?” Opening her eyes, she turned to Oliver. His eyes were narrowed, muscles tight as he crossed his arms. Felicity didn’t let herself get distracted about how drooly looking he was and instead focused on the possible end of the world staring at them in their faces. 

“Do you want the bad news first, or really, really bad news?” she asked, straightening up. Oliver glanced at the team standing beside them before turning back to Felicity. The team gathered around her: Dig, Thea, Detective Lance, Lyla and Roy, who had come to the city to help the team with the Darkh threat. It was a sweet reunion. And it would’ve been sweeter if every nuclear weapon on the world weren’t going to be released in two hours.

“What did Darkh do?” It was Diggle that asked the question. Felicity took a deep breath.

“Really, really bad news first then. He… Well, he shut me out of the Rubicon’s control system and transmitted a virus so that I can’t log back on. Well, I can, but it would require a really complicated and time consuming series of codes, which would probably take me at least two hours to write since I have no idea what the Rubicon’s virus is, since I have only heard its name a couple of days ago, and even though I managed to write it there’s at least a seventy three percent chance it wouldn’t work, which isn’t a really good chance considering the world’s about to end in two hours.” Holding her breath, she waited for the team’s reaction. Every one of them had shock splattered on their faces. It was Oliver who managed to snap out of his stupor first.

 “What are you talking about?” he asked in a weirdly calm voice. Felicity clasped her hands together.

 "Darkh configured the Rubicon to release all the nuclear weapons in the world in about two hours.” This time, there were gasps as well.

“Wait, what? Why would he do that? His Noah’s boat 2.0 is destroyed,” Thea asked, looking at her brother. Oliver’s gaze met with Felicity’s, and Felicity knew he understood Darkh. He had been in the same place Darkh was right now. Well, not exactly, since he didn’t try to destroy the human race with nuclear weapons, but he had lost hope on that island or wherever he had been in those five years. He knew what it was like. He just wasn’t crazy enough to destroy the world for that.

“Darkh’s lost hope. His wife is dead, and he can’t find his daughter. What he did is…understandable.” Even the idea of it revolted Felicity, but she understood as well because she knew Oliver and what he’d been through. Lance’s eyes turned to Oliver.

“Understandable? Which part of trying to destroy the world is understandable?” Well, it was a valid question.

“Darkh has nothing to live for anymore, his wife is death, his daughter is MIA, which I’m pretty sure is a good thing for the daughter but still, and he’s a crazy villain with superpowers. Honestly, what did we expect?” Felicity walked around the computers. She suddenly wanted to hit something, which was weird because it was Oliver’s way of coping with this sort of stuff.

“Okay, not to take from the importance of that situation, but what is the bad-but-not-as-bad news?” Felicity’s eyes turned to Thea with her question. She bit her lip.

“Well, there _is_ a way to stop Rubicon.” He could feel Oliver’s tension even a few feet away from him. Thea’s brows lifted.

“Am I the only one who thinks we’re not gonna like it?” she asked, looking at her brother. Felicity pressed her lips together.

“What is the way?” It was Lyla, grabbing her husband’s hand. Felicity took a deep breath.

“I will need to shut it down on Darkh’s computer.” Holding her breath, she counted down from five, waiting for the opposition. Oliver yelled at three.

“No. Absolutely not. You’re not going there.” Facing her, Felicity took a step toward him.

“This is the only way, Oliver, or the world is literally gonna go boom.” Oliver shook his head again. His teeth were gritted and his muscles were stiffened as he grabbed Felicity’s arm. She could see the desperation in them.

“Give us the codes. We can write them. But I’m not taking you to Darkh’s lair.” Felicity’s heart swelled for Oliver’s determination and the love in his eyes. No matter what happened between them, his first instinct was to always protect her. She appreciated his worry, but the world was on the verge of destruction and they didn’t have time for that.

“There’s no time, Oliver. We have two hours, and the whole world is at risk. I’m going in there.” Oliver was about to shake his head yet again when Felicity put her hand on his heart. “I have to do this. It’s my choice.” Oliver knew Felicity was dead serious when she stared right into his eyes and didn’t babble. Still, Felicity could see it was the last thing he wanted to do on the earth, but after a few seconds, he nodded, looking back at the team. He tried to smile, but it was evident he was worried as hell from the thickness of his voice.

“Let’s go save the world.”

* * *

 

“I hacked into their security system,” Felicity announced, her fingers flying over her tablet, the only equipment that wasn’t infected with Darkh’s virus, which Felicity insisted on calling “dark” virus. “There’re two guards at the gates, five others in the lair and two others with Darkh in the command center.” Layla and Diggle looked at each other as they loaded their guns.

“Okay, we could easily take them down. But I’m coming with you, Felicity,” Oliver said from next to her in the van. Felicity looked up at Oliver.

“No, you need to help—“

“We can handle it.” Putting on her hood, Thea smiled at Felicity. “Trust me on this one, you can’t convince Oliver to leave you defenseless.” Felicity narrowed her eyes.

“I’m not defenseless. I have a gun,” she said without lifting her fingers from the tablet. Thea sighed.

“Yeah, because those worked so well on Darkh before,” she muttered before asking how much time was left. Felicity looked at the time and her stomach dropped.

“One hour and thirteen minutes.” She looked up at Oliver with worry etched in her face. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” Oliver put his hand on her shoulder as he knelt down. His face was soft, almost softer than she’d ever seen him. Her lips parted as their gazes met, making her heart skip. Oliver always managed to comfort her somehow with just a simple touch.

“Hey. It’s gonna be okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Looking in Oliver’s eyes, she knew he was telling the truth. She was only afraid he wouldn’t be able to do it. That he’d lose.

“There’s an emergency exit at the back,” she said finally, turning back to her tablet. “It’s closer to the command center and there’re just three guards.” Oliver stood up and faced the team again.

“Good. Thea and I can handle them. And the others can go from the front door and create a distraction.” Felicity pressed a few buttons on the tablet and she smiled.

“Well, I kind of created a diversion. I managed to hack into their system and turned off the lights.” She grinned at Oliver. “That’ll keep them busy for a while.” Oliver smiled tightly as he clenched and unclenched his fists. “But you don’t need to thank me at all,” she joked, trying to lighten up the mood. It didn’t work, and it took Felicity a few seconds to realize why.

They had arrived. This was it.

“Okay, we need to move fast,” Oliver said in a scarily calm voice. “We’ll go in and out. Felicity will stop Rubicon and we hopefully will take it from Darkh, and then that’s it. We’re not here to kill Darkh. I’m not risking anyone’s life. We won’t lose any other member of the team.” Seriousness and forlornness fell over the team, wiping each of their smiles off their faces as they all thought about Laurel. No matter how much time passed, there’d be a hole in the team where she was and supposed to be.

“Then let’s save the world for her,” Thea said more determinedly than ever as she grabbed her bow.

As they went out of the van, Felicity typed the last couple of codes to divert Darkh’s attention more. The lights in the command room flashed on and off, making Darkh squint and look at them. He sent one of the Guards to check them out.

“Okay, Darkh’s distracted. Go!” she whispered to the team as they leaped out of the van and started running. She, Oliver and Thea stood back and made their way to the emergency exit. Felicity’s eyes were glued on her tablet, watching Darkh’s every move. From the other surveillance video, she saw the team engaging with the Ghosts. Their team took the Ghosts down one by one easily. Darkh frowned as he pressed his lips together, and shouted something at the Guard before bolting out of the room. This was their signal. Quietly, they made their way in, Felicity behind Oliver and Thea and their bows in their hands.

“Guards are a few feet away on the left corridor,” she whispered. Oliver nodded before turning to her, and gesturing her to stay behind. Thea and he turned left down the corridor, and within seconds Felicity heard the bodies falling down. She couldn’t help wincing. Of course she knew every day that Oliver was taking down several people with tranq arrows, but she never had to see them. This wasn’t exactly her forte.

Still, she walked silently down the corridor next to Oliver and Thea. Her eyes traveled on them to make sure they weren’t hurt, and the three of them made their way to the command center. Felicity looked at her tablet.

Fifty two minutes left. Great.

As they reached the command center, Oliver fired an arrow to the Ghost standing in there and he fell down with a thump. Felicity pressed her lips together as she made her way in and immediately went to the computers. Thea stayed behind to watch the door as Oliver came with her.

“How much time will it take?”

“Hopefully, not much,” she said as she sat behind the computer. “It might take a few minutes, especially if Darkh locked the system.” She pressed a few keys and pouted. “Which of course he did, because he is smarter than that. Or whoever his tech assistant is.” She felt Oliver’s hand on her shoulder and she glanced up briefly. He was smiling.

“Not as smart as you,” he said as he squeezed her shoulder encouragingly. A small smile appeared on Felicity’s face. It was good to know there would always be someone with her even in the worst situations ever.

“Keep an eye on the surveillance footages. If things go bad…” She didn’t have to continue as she continued typing the codes to the computer at full speed, breaking the firewalls one by one. After what felt like a minute, she heard Oliver gasp.

“What?” she said, not taking her eyes off the computer screens.

“Darkh’s back up came.” This time, she did turn to Oliver.

“ _What?_ ” Her eyes turned to the other screen, and she gasped as well. “Oh my God, how did Darkh find that many Ghosts that agreed to die with him in his plan to destroy the world?” Oliver clenched his teeth.

“It doesn’t matter. He found it.” His arms were crossed. She stopped, turning to him.

“You need to go, Oliver. The team needs help.” Oliver’s eyes snapped back to her.

“No.” His answer was simple and unwavering. She took a deep breath as she stood up and stood right in front of him.

“Oliver, they can’t fight the Ghosts alone. They need you more than I do right now. Besides, Darkh is not here. Go.”

“Felicity…” Oliver started but Felicity stopped him by putting her hands on her chest.

“I’ll be fine. I promise. But you need to make sure all of the team is fine as well. Now go,” she forced him again. There was a moment of hesitation before he nodded curtly, and then turned around. Stopping for a second, he looked back at Felicity.

“Anything goes wrong—anything—you’re gonna tell me through the comms. Promise me.” Felicity nodded and smiled at Oliver before he ran out of the room. She immediately turned back to the computers. Most of it was done, all she needed to do was write the codes that would stop Rubicon from firing all the nuclear weapons, and hopefully she could also manage to shut it down completely so that it couldn’t be used again. She was just typing the last code when she felt something hitting her body and sending her to the other side of the room. She hit her head to the wall, feeling dizzy as she looked up. A figure was walking in the room.

“So you thought you could beat me, Felicity?”

Darkh. He was here.

Trying to stand up, Felicity clutched her tablet and pressed it to her chest. The door closed behind Darkh and locked. She gulped.

“Felicity?” She could hear Oliver through her comms. She pressed her lips together.

“It’s okay,” she said and cleared her throat when her voice came out scratchy. “I’m okay.”

“Oh, how cute. Trying to keep your fiancé from coming here. Oh, wait, you had broken up, right? Sorry, my fault.” A wicked smile appeared on Darkh’s face as he stepped forward, his hand extended in front of her. Felicity straightened up her shoulders even though her heart was beating 200 beats per minute and fear flooded her veins.

“I’m not gonna let you destroy the world,” she said, feeling proud when her voice showed almost no fear. Darkh laughed. But it was not one of those happy ones. It was a crazy one. Hysterical one. Felicity winced.

“And what makes you think you can stop me, huh?” He rolled his wrist and a hot pain shot through Felicity’s veins. She yelled painfully, even though she tried so hard to keep it down. This time, Oliver’s voice was panicked.

“Felicity, what’s going on?” he yelled. Darkh’s expression told her that he heard Oliver.

“No-nothing,” Felicity muttered out as she turned on her tablet, never keeping her eyes off Darkh. Now that the firewalls were down, she could stop Rubicon from her tablet. She just needed to find a way to type down the last code before Darkh noticed it. “Don’t come in here, Oliver!”

“Felicity, no!” His voice was fearful. “Don’t you dare die, okay?” Darkh pursed his lips in a dark smile.

“Well, I’m sorry if she doesn’t really have a choice on that matter.” With one swipe of his hand, Felicity flew to the wall again. Every muscle in her body hurt from the crashed, and her vision wasn’t all that good, but this was her chance. Luckily, she managed to protect the tablet. She started typing in the code.

“Felicity, stay with me, okay? Hang on, I’m coming.” Getting strength from Oliver’s words, she finished the code. Even though she was pretty sure she wasn’t gonna make it, she wasn’t gonna let Darkh take them and the whole world away. Quickly, she pressed the button to deactivate Rubicon, and shut her eyes.

“Tell me,” Darkh continued, “how are you planning on stopping Rubicon without that computer?” Felicity rolled on the floor to face Darkh. A small, painful smile appeared on her lips. 

“The firewalls are down. I don’t need the computer.” She lifted the tablet. “It’s already done. Rubicon is deactivated.” Darkh’s eyes widened as his smile disappeared.

“No!” he yelled as he spun around, just to see the computers shutting down, DEACTIVATED written on the screens. Felicity tried to laugh.

“You lost, Darkh.” Snarling, Darkh turned to her and lifted her body from the ground with his powers. She almost couldn’t breath as she gasped, her lungs begging for air.

“You’ll regret this. You won’t get away with this.” A peaceful but sad feeling fell on her. This was it. She was scared, she didn’t want to die, yet she couldn’t think of a better way to go either. She could feel Oliver fighting through the comms, and the other team members, indicating they were still alive. She saved them, she saved the whole world, and her life was a small price to pay for it.

“I know,” she choked out as Darkh’s grip on her loosened. From his eyes, though, she knew she wasn’t gonna last long. She forced the words out as quickly as possible.

“Oliver, I love you,” she whispered with a hoarse voice.

“Felicity, don’t!” Oliver said, but she didn’t listen. She needed to say this.

“I love you. This isn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself.”

“No, no, Felicity!”

“It was my choice. I knew the risks. I am happy.” She stepped back as Darkh walked to her with fiery eyes. “I saved your life. All of your lives. I’d gladly die knowing that.”

“No, Felicity, don’t you dare—“ he said desperately. “I’m coming. Hold on. Please, hold on,” he pleaded. Oliver rarely pleaded, which made Felicity’s heart tear into pieces. Tears started to fall from her cheeks as she clasped her hands on her chest.

“Don’t go back to killing for me. Don’t leave this city. People need you. _This_ you. Your team needs you. Don’t let my death destroy you.” She saw Darkh getting the tablet from the floor and breaking it into pieces. She gulped with fear.

“Felicity, stay with me. You won’t die. You won’t.”

“There’s no way out. Don’t come here. Go. Run.” And before she could do anything, Darkh threw one piece of the tablet to her heart. The tablet piece sunk into her chest, pulling air out of her. Hot pain shot through her body as she staggered back and fell to the ground.

“Felicity, no!” Oliver yelled again as Felicity faintly heard the door swinging open. She forced her eyes to open as Oliver fired three arrows at Darkh. He easily stopped them and smirked.

“You know those don’t hurt me. Oh, and, by the way, how ironic your blonde IT girl over there dies with a piece of tech in her heart when that was why you hired her.”

“Stay away from her!” Oliver yelled as he fired another two arrows. Darkh stopped them again.

“Oh, Oliver. You really don’t learn, right? I—“ Before he could continue, though, three arrows pierced him through the neck, all shot by Roy and Thea. Darkh staggered forward as all of them lunged at him at the same time with bullets and arrows, and no matter how strong Darkh was Oliver finally landed the deadly blow, cutting Darkh’s head off. The head rolled down and away, and Felicity probably would’ve felt sick if it wasn’t for the numbing pain coursing through her veins. She already couldn’t feel her legs.

“Felicity!” Oliver yelled, running to her. She tried to reach to him, to touch him, hug him and kiss him one last time before she was gone. “Call 911. Call the paramedics. She needs medical attention now!” And then he was beside Felicity, cradling her up to his chest. His hands were shaking as he pulled her head up, stroking her cheek. He had taken his hood and mask off.

“O-Oliver,” Felicity stuttered out. She could feel blood trickling down her mouth. Oliver quickly wiped it away along with the tears, even though his eyes were filled with them as well.

“Stay with me, Felicity. Stay with me.” A painful smile pulled Felicity’s lips as she forced her arm up and cupped Oliver’s cheek. “Don’t close your eyes. You’ll live, okay? Help is on the way.” Felicity didn’t know if he was trying to convince her or himself, but she knew she couldn’t make it.

“We both know that it… It isn’t true,” she managed to say so quietly that she doubted Oliver heard her. But of course he did, because his eyes widened and jaw clenched.

“Yes, it is, Felicity. You’re not going anywhere. You’re not leaving me, do you understand?” His voice was full of determination like sheer will could heal her wound, but she knew Oliver well enough to hear the desperation and helplessness behind it.

“I-I’m sorry,” she said. Oliver blinked bewilderedly.

“For what?” he whispered. Felicity opened her mouth to answer, but nothing but cough and blood came out. Oliver lifted her head quickly, holding onto her. “Felicity!” he yelled desperately. She forced herself to stop coughing for his sake.

“Fo-for breaking up with…with you. It… It wasn’t your fault.” Oliver didn’t seem to find the right words for a second, just staring at her with wide eyes. He shook his head in denial.

“No. Don’t apologize. We’ll have time for that. We’ll have all the time in the world. You’re not leaving me.” Felicity coughed again as her vision started to blacken. She didn’t have much time.

“Can you… Can you kiss me one last time? Please?” Oliver stared at her for a second before dropping his head to kiss her. The kiss wasn’t soft at all, it was desperate, devouring and demanding. Like Oliver was trying to keep her from dying with just that kiss. Felicity let her body relax with it. That was all she needed. Of course she had wanted a lifetime with him, but since that wasn’t gonna happen, this was… This had to be enough. Even though it didn’t feel like it.

“It is not the last time, Felicity.” Felicity tried to laugh but it sounded more like she was gasping for air. She forced a smile again with tears mingling with it. Oliver was crying as well.

“I love you… Oliver Queen. And… And this is not your fault. Don’t blame you-yourself. Let…the others help you. And promise…that you’ll find someone else.” Oliver shook his head again as his shoulders slumped with desperation.

“I don’t want someone else. I want you. I love you, Felicity. Stay with me. Please. Don’t leave me. I can’t lose anyone else I love. I can’t lose you.” Felicity’s hand dropped to Oliver’s heart.

“Carry me…here. And I will be with you. Oliver—“

“Shut up,” Oliver whispered desperately. It was the first time he’d ever told her to shut up without any humor, yet it made Felicity smile. “Don’t talk like you’ll die. You’re not dying. You won’t.” She stared at the love of her life one last time as her vision blurred. She tried to get it together but it was impossible. She couldn’t feel her body anymore. She couldn’t even feel Oliver’s touch. She wanted to talk, to tell him she loved him one last time but her lips didn’t move. She could hear Oliver’s hopeless yells though, asking her to come back.

“Felicity? _Felicity_!” Oliver shook her body, yet she barely felt it. “No. No, no, no! Open your eyes. Open your eyes.” When had she closed her eyes? She didn’t even realize it. “Don’t go. Felicity, stay with me. Come on. Stay with me.” His voice cracked, making her heart tear apart even more. She wanted to comfort him, but she felt too far away. His voice was trailing off as well.

“Felicity, come back to me. Come on! Wake up.” _I love you, Oliver_ , she thought.

“You can’t leave me. Do you understand?” _You made me the best version of myself_.

“Open your eyes. Felicity, open them.” _All I wanted was to spend my life with you_.

“Felicity, hey, come on!” _I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry_.

“Felicity?” _I love you. You’re my everything. I love you_.

“Felicity?”


End file.
